Jesus Christ

I Cannot Be the Only One

 I cannot be the only one, can I?
I cannot possibly be the only person that is tired, mentally fatigued to the point where I simply do not care if I even get out of bed?

I cannot be the only one, can I?

Am I the single person on Earth that feels like his problems are not understood much less met with any kind of sympathy?

I am surrounded by people and yet I feel alone. I am alone. I am utterly alone. The solitude like a noose slowly tightened, drawing tighter, breathing shallow. My eyes refuse to focus, my limbs become rebellious; fighting to even stand.

I cannot be the only one, can I?

My closets friend has become my worst enemy and I am devastated at the prospect of the finality that looms. The hardest part is that I do not even seem to care. I am almost relieved at the thought that I may be done with that chapter.  The hardest chapter I’ve ever written both in it’s production and destruction.

I cannot be the only one, can I?

And yet, I am not without hope. Yes, it’s dark outside, but there is light – distant perhaps – beyond the clouds. I have a sense that it will all work out though I may not ever know when. I do not have to always feel happy, right? I do not have to, do I?

I cannot be the only one, am I?

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

My #dontbreakthechain calendar as it looked on 10 JUNE 214

My #dontbreakthechain calendar as it looked on 10 JUNE 214

**Editors Note**

I wrote this back in June so some of the numbers and dates are old but the sentiment is the same. I took me this long to pull the trigger on posting this because I had grown so comfortable with the My 500 crew and was hesitent – to say the least – about making any changes.

God Bless you All

MickHolt

Turn Turn Turn

**NOTE** Not only is today National Star Wars day – May the Fourth be with you – it is also the one year anniversary of mickholt.com. I have learned a lot over the last year but still struggle with some questions – as you’ll read below. Thank you, to everyone that reads PADAG regularly, has read in the past or will be reading this for the first time – I hope you find something of value here and if so, I would love if you joined in – or started – the conversation below. Be blessed and I look forward to building this community.

Y’all keep the acorn spinnin’

#dontbreakthechain

**

Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 8 (KJV)

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Through Cancer and In Health

Breast Cancer RibbonI was sitting on the floor going through a box of old comic books; wrapped up in a story lines of mutants falling in love, fighting and just being cool. I was enraptured by the lines and shadows in the corners, the details on the faces of some of my all time favorite heroes. The depth of emotions that are conveyed in nothing more than a cartoon. Only that’s not right is it? They’re not just cartoons are they? They’re an art form, epic, masterful, enduring.

For a few minutes I was a kid again. Nothing in my life more important than finishing this comic and moving on to see what was happening in another part of the universe. For a few minutes.

This Is Not About Me Or You

It's not me it's youPROFESSIONAL HELP

I recently got – what I consider – to be some pretty solid blogging advice from a blog I just happened upon. You can check it out here or here. If you blog I think it might be worth your time.

They offered a free report or a guide or an eBook or an all expenses paid trip to Bali in exchange for my email address so, I submitted. To be honest I am not sure what I got or if I even read it but the thing that I DID read was an offer for a custom review of my blog with advice on how to make it better and increase traffic.

It’s Called Your Past for a Reason

Photo By; katielips (Creative Commons)

Photo By; katielips (Creative Commons)

I remember driving down the street to the first house we lived in when we moved here. It had been maybe 6 years since I had seen the house or really driven anywhere near it but in that moment I needed to connect with a part of my past. It had been far too long. It was a long drive but it was worth it. You could call this an attempt to get at something familiar before I embarked on what I believed would be the biggest change in my life and to that point – it was. However,  I thought it would be the door to open up the whole world to me; a passage to another dimension – well, not literally but going from nearly not graduating high school to leaving for Parris Island in less than forty eight hours – I think another dimension really captures the heart of what I was feeling.

Cancer Sucks

Breast Cancer RibbonCancer sucks.

No, I have never had it but I can tell you it sucks. I have watched if fought from the sidelines. I have been a part of the support system, oh, I am in the cast but I have never had the lead and I would be lying if I said I wanted the starring role. But it has lived in my house so I feel well equipped to write on this topic.

So, I can say without reservation that having cancer sucks – for everyone involved.

Gimme All Yer’ Holidays Buddy!

maskAs today – last Friday by the time you read this – is Valentine’s Day, I thought I should write about all things love and romance.

Then I thought naawwwww, instead I am going to take this to a place it was never meant to go – the Christians,

What?

Friday Poetry – Misdirected

ac681-truth***NOTE*** The following is somethign I wrote to go with a post I am doing titled “Why Are You So Mad – The Face of Intolerance.” Which is a response to a blog post I read this week which illustrates the frustration I have being called intolerant for my beilefs. For some of my other thoughts on the question of intolerance I invite you to read  this post.

Impact and Butt-Monkeys – Someone’s Watching

thinking monkeySo, last night – last week by the time this publishes – I wrote about two deaths, my cousin who was about a year older than I am and my friend Mike Dorman – from high school. Well, really I knew Dorman in eighth grade but whose keeping track? I thought specifically about the memorial service we had for Dorman here in Tampa.

More on that in a bit.

Through some of the comments I received I stated to think about the impact we have on the lives of people around us and most of us will never know that impact this side of Heaven.

And maybe that’s a good thing.

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