The following IS NOT me or my thoughts. Not that I have not felt some of them perhaps all of them from time to time. We all have. Only one person in history has gone through their life and not held a grudge, not felt bitterness, not forgiven. Even on the cross, Scripture tells us that when Jesus, “…was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).
I wrote this back in June so some of the numbers and dates are old but the sentiment is the same. I took me this long to pull the trigger on posting this because I had grown so comfortable with the My 500 crew and was hesitent – to say the least – about making any changes.
God Bless you All
God has spoken to me in the past – not audibly but I could hear him in my heart. I have talked and written about that in the past.
The first time he told me that I had built a wall around my heart and I was not allowing him to enter – then he told me how to change that. I walked out of church that morning drove home and did what I was told.
The next time was a year or so later and I was struggling to find my lace in his will – or as I like to say , finding His will for my life. The thing is though, that I was not doing anything. Rather, I was spinning my wheels doing nothing waiting, as I have said for God to speak to me through a burning bush or a billboard or – and I really looked for these too – scripture references in license plates. I wish I was making that up.
You know because God always hides messages out in the open for you to see if you really want to find them, right?
They offered a free report or a guide or an eBook or an all expenses paid trip to Bali in exchange for my email address so, I submitted. To be honest I am not sure what I got or if I even read it but the thing that I DID read was an offer for a custom review of my blog with advice on how to make it better and increase traffic.
I remember driving down the street to the first house we lived in when we moved here. It had been maybe 6 years since I had seen the house or really driven anywhere near it but in that moment I needed to connect with a part of my past. It had been far too long. It was a long drive but it was worth it. You could call this an attempt to get at something familiar before I embarked on what I believed would be the biggest change in my life and to that point – it was. However, I thought it would be the door to open up the whole world to me; a passage to another dimension – well, not literally but going from nearly not graduating high school to leaving for Parris Island in less than forty eight hours – I think another dimension really captures the heart of what I was feeling.
Several years ago I took American Sign Language classes and it was one of the best experiences of my life. It led to a very dark period for me but that was my own doing and – really – fodder for another post, or not.
That group of students was as eclectic as they come – or as you find in almost any community college class; regular students, house wives, security guards, people wanting an easy grade for their foreign language credit and a host of others.
Diversity was well served.
I have not been very focused on PADAG recently. It is not that my interest in helping people find their way to God’s will has waned but to be perfectly honest, I have been so attuned to my own purpose that writing for this space has taken a back seat. This blog and all of you are on my mind all the time but my attention has been on other kinds of writing.
So, last night – last week by the time this publishes – I wrote about two deaths, my cousin who was about a year older than I am and my friend Mike Dorman – from high school. Well, really I knew Dorman in eighth grade but whose keeping track? I thought specifically about the memorial service we had for Dorman here in Tampa.
More on that in a bit.
Through some of the comments I received I stated to think about the impact we have on the lives of people around us and most of us will never know that impact this side of Heaven.
And maybe that’s a good thing.
I mean really? For me, not often. Not often enough.
Today I reached the end of a 31 day writing challenge and honestly, thinking back to the first of January, I didn’t think I’d complete this one.
The challenge was to write at least 500 words a day for the month. Those were the rules. I didn’t have to write a book, blog post, poem, letter or anything that even made sense – I had several of those nights – the idea was just to get into the habit of writing.
I did it.
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Phil 3:13-14 KJV).
I am working through a month long challenge wherein nearly 1700 people have committed to writing at least 500 words a day. Every day we’re given a writing prompt; some use it some do not – it is not part of the challenge to write what we’re told to write just that we write.