depression

I Cannot Be the Only One

 I cannot be the only one, can I?
I cannot possibly be the only person that is tired, mentally fatigued to the point where I simply do not care if I even get out of bed?

I cannot be the only one, can I?

Am I the single person on Earth that feels like his problems are not understood much less met with any kind of sympathy?

I am surrounded by people and yet I feel alone. I am alone. I am utterly alone. The solitude like a noose slowly tightened, drawing tighter, breathing shallow. My eyes refuse to focus, my limbs become rebellious; fighting to even stand.

I cannot be the only one, can I?

My closets friend has become my worst enemy and I am devastated at the prospect of the finality that looms. The hardest part is that I do not even seem to care. I am almost relieved at the thought that I may be done with that chapter.  The hardest chapter I’ve ever written both in it’s production and destruction.

I cannot be the only one, can I?

And yet, I am not without hope. Yes, it’s dark outside, but there is light – distant perhaps – beyond the clouds. I have a sense that it will all work out though I may not ever know when. I do not have to always feel happy, right? I do not have to, do I?

I cannot be the only one, am I?

I Just Don’t Feel Good

*NOTE – To say that I wrote the following while I didn’t feel good would be true but I do not want that to be a cop out.  I write what I feel -good or bad, positive or negative, sad and demented but always honest.  I will not make an excuse, this is how I felt at the time that the words came out.  I am using this as an example of what I believe we all go though – emotions that we all deal with – and how I deal.  I share this because I believe someone is feeling the EXACT same thing and they need to know they’re NOT alone. If I am talking to you, leave a comment and we can talk. Send me an email and we’ll pray.

Just know.

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