The following IS NOT me or my thoughts. Not that I have not felt some of them perhaps all of them from time to time. We all have. Only one person in history has gone through their life and not held a grudge, not felt bitterness, not forgiven. Even on the cross, Scripture tells us that when Jesus, “…was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).
The rest of us are naturally unforgiving, hold grudges, drink the drought of bitterness, as my pastor says, we then, “wait for the other person to die.” The words below do not belong to me, this time, but they could. They could also belong to you. Don’t let that happen. Actively seek and give forgiveness – even when the other person scarcely deserves it. Because I KNOW that when Jesus forgave me sin, our sin – we didn’t deserve it.
Oh, the anguish of bitterness. Loneliness and isolation take only for themselves giving nothing in return. Alone on the isle of my mind. Stranded, shipwrecked with noting and no one but anger. Resentment drives my pulse to excess; quickening the shallow breath I cannot catch. Just out of rich, like freedom and peace. Oh, that I could drink the poison drained from the veins I try in desperation to hide. Hope bleeds away like childish memories. Oh, that the venom I swallow would bury itself in another’s bowels; the other. The only other. The death of all will not resolve. Lost in the desperation I create. The darkness has closed in. Envy forces open my eyes yet I remain blind. Cold hastens the delirium, pain feeds the stalks as I wade through the cries. My rage is not contained. I devour the truth I hate. The end of all does not satiate. See me dying. Hear me screaming. Feel me not caring.
Do you or have you felt this way? Leave me a comment, it really does help to talk it through.
Mick Holt 