Cancer Sucks

Posted: March 12, 2014 in God's Will
Tags: , , , , ,

Breast Cancer RibbonCancer sucks.

No, I have never had it but I can tell you it sucks. I have watched if fought from the sidelines. I have been a part of the support system, oh, I am in the cast but I have never had the lead and I would be lying if I said I wanted the starring role. But it has lived in my house so I feel well equipped to write on this topic.

So, I can say without reservation that having cancer sucks – for everyone involved.

I spent the better part of the day today sitting, again, at the side of my wife’s bed before they wheeled her way from me into the OR and the unknown – sure, it is a little less “unknown” now but no matter how many times you watch the person you love wheeled away on a hospital bed you’re standing solidly in the unknown – well, maybe solid is the wrong word.

No matter who you are a million thoughts go through your head. They go from bright and happy to dark and morbid.

“She’ll be fine”

“She’ll be dead”

“She won’t have cancer and we can go home”

“She’s going to have cancer and it is all going to start over again”

“What do you mean this place doesn’t have a cafeteria?”

They just get darker and darker.

I make jokes – she’s OK with so you need to be too.

I run the gamut of emotions every time she has a headache, a pain that was not there yesterday, sleeps late – whatever. It reeks havoc on her life and mine and on everyone that knows her, loves her and hurts alongside us with every piece of bad news.

Of course, on days like today they also get to rejoice alongside us. We’re thankful for that and for them.

During these times we cling to our faith in Jesus Christ and his love for us. We are immensely grateful for the prayers of those that are also Christ followers.

Marriage issues, health issues, jobs, money, food – yeah, we face all the same problems as those that don’t follow Christ. Despite all of that we have something that they don’t and it is not family or friends, it’s not support systems or help it is something so much more valuable in times of trouble.

HOPE

He gives us hope – live or die –and that helps us focus our faith by reminding us of the many many times He’s intervened on our behalf.

Hope can do a lot of good; it can get you out of bed in the morning, it can help you make tough decisions.

Of course it can be packaged and sold as something that its not but you have to learn to see things as they are NOT as you want to see them.

With all the crap that having cancer in your family brings the one thing it cannot take – unless you let it – is your hope and that’s the thing that pains me the most when I think about all the people that do not have relationships with Christ.

They have no hope. They have nothing to look forward to except questions.

So, as much as cancer sucks it pales in comparison to having no hope.

Whatever else you do today – find a way to have some hope. If you need some help leave me comment.
Comments
  1. Sharon says:

    Mick, no words, only prayers. And yes, holding on to hope is the only thing that matters…

    I read these verses in Job today – taken a bit out of context – but I found them to be exactly what God wanted to say to me. May they also bring comfort to you and your wife:

    “You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
    You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid…” (Job 11:18-19, NIV)

    GOD BLESS.

  2. Josh Kizler says:

    I found your post very touching. As a cancer patient I’m trying harder to think about what those closest to me must feel through this struggle. Equally so, I have lots of hope but do not believe in Christ. The two are not mutually exclusive. Hope is available in many forms.

    • mickholt says:

      Josh, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this too but from the sound of it you have some support and I am glad that you’re not battling alone. I know there are some that are and I just don’t know how they deal with it all. I am also glad that you have found a source of hope and it’s my prayer for that it sreves you well and that you – like my wife has been doing KICK the crap out of this awful disease! I will continue to pray for you. Thanks for stopping by and commenting come back anytime.

  3. michelecarla2013 says:

    Michael, cancer runs in my family, so this touches me very much. I am sorry to hear about your wife. With that said, your last sentence tells people to leave you a comment if they need hope. You are an Amazing man of God! You and your family will be in my prayers.

    • mickholt says:

      Michele – thank you for your kind words. I hardly feel “amazing” but I aprecaite the sentiment. My wife and family also appreciate the prayers – you will be in mine. I am glad you felt like you could reach out and just know the Jesus said in Matthew 11:28
      “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
      This applies to us today as much as it did when he said it. Please check back in and let me know how you’re doing.

  4. “So, as much as cancer sucks it pales in comparison to having no hope.” A very powerful statement. And very true.

    I can’t imagine dealing with cancer or any other life-threatening/altering disease without hope in Christ.

    My prayers go up for you & your wife. Rest well.

    • mickholt says:

      Melinda – My family and I thank you for your prayers. That is one thing you can never have too much of. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Please come back anytime.

  5. Moxie in the Making says:

    I just wanted to share one of my favorite quotes on the topic. (I’m actually using it for Relay for Life!) “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” -Christopher Reeve
    Such a beautiful post! Prayers for you and your family!

  6. Rod Semple says:

    Hi Mick. Beautifully written. Thank you for letting me share a little of your journey. I loved the way you turned the focus away from cancer to Hope.

  7. Sandra says:

    Had to read the blog in pieces so I didn’t tear up at work! I only knew you briefly at HHS I think we have quiet a few friends in common. I am glad you’re on my FB. This blog was great! You are a great guy and husband. I am currently dealing with my dad having blood cancer and it does SUCK. The unknown is insane. But my dad is awesome – he loves God and he knows God is in control. He’s a great example to me and the folks around him. He keeps going and he never bitches. I see people stub a toe and complain a thousand more times than my dad has ever complained. He has blood cancer and heart issues and he doesn’t let it stop him. I was raised in church and I do consider myself Christian but I do question my faith sometimes just from other circumstances that have transpired in my adult life. But reading blogs like this and having it touch my heart makes me realize I don’t need to question anything. There is a God and Jesus is real and He lives. And you are right it gives us Hope and with that we can get through anything life deals us. Thanks Mike! Take care and I’m glad yesterday you got good news!!!!

    • mickholt says:

      Sandra, thanks for stopping by – glad you found your way here. Sorry to hear about your dad, I will be praying for you, him and your the rest of your family. Your dad sounds like my wife. No matter how bad she felt/feels she was always trying to make sure everyone else was doing well. It’s always others first, so , I am glad your dad is able to maintain that and that his faith in Christ is strong.
      Don’t beat yourself up over questioning your faith – everyone does it. Everyone questions their part in God’s story. Jesus once asked God to remove “this cup” from him – the crucifixion – but knew His job was to go to the cross – “your will not mine be done.” God’s not afraid of our questions – he knows you have them before you do. You’re going to go through stuff – it’s part of life you just have to make up your mind in advance that your circumstances will not dictate your faith.
      Good luck to you in your walk and with your dad – I wish you both the best. Feel free to stop by anytime – if you need anything let me know and I will see what I can do.

  8. sherrirenee says:

    Cancer does suck. It has affected many people close to me. Thankfully most of them have had hope in Christ to help get them through. Me? Not facing cancer, but other giants and in desperate need of hope. Some days it’s there and other days I can’t find it. It’s a struggle. You encourage me. Thank you for that.

    • mickholt says:

      Sherri, your giants may not be cancer but they’re your giants and no less important. One of the things I try to remember is that God is the same yesterday, today and forever so if he was with me then he’s with me now and no matter what happens tomorrow – he will be there. How easy he is to find depends on how hard I look. I am glad you’re encouraged please let me know if I can help you out. Jesus knew this walk would be difficult without others – I believe that’s why he modeled doing life with the disciples.

      • sherrirenee says:

        Thanks so much! Yes, this walk would be so hard without others. Unfortunately, for me lately, my “online community” has been most of my support. I am struggling to connect with people IRL. :/

      • mickholt says:

        Yes, very encouraging online group (500 Words) but not having people IRL can be tough. Since I know you write is there a writer’s group you could reach out to or how about at your church or another church? If you’re not currently involved with one visit a couple and see if there are people you feel like you connect with. If you’re in the Temple Terrace/Tampa Bay area you’re welcome to come to our community group – we meet on Friday nights.

      • sherrirenee says:

        I have a church, just struggling with real life connections right now. I live in small town Iowa, I’m almost 45, never married, no kids and it is hard because everyone my age is busy with families. The other night I hung out with a mid 20’s married couple and a 21 year old college student. I’ll be OK – the online connections are helping me through this tough time. 🙂

      • mickholt says:

        I am glad that you have a positive attitude – that will serve you well. You know you’re right where you need to be so try to look for what God has for you there. You never know what your openness might lead to. Best of luck.
        I am liking the online crew too 🙂

  9. aprilbest1981 says:

    oh praise God for NO CANCER!!!! Has she had it before? great post…and even greater news!!!!!

    • mickholt says:

      April, It is great news and we’re so happy to be able to report it. Yes, she’s had breast cancer 2x since 2008 – but all tests have come back clean since 2011 so this was a real scare. Thanks for stopping by.

  10. Denise says:

    Michael, I am watching three very young people battling lymphoma and leukemia. It sickens me to see them weakened by the chemo, and it thrills me to see them smile through every small triumph. I wish blessings of comfort, health, and strength for your wife, and for you, as you face this together. I think HOPE is something I was letting slip through my fingers this week. Today, I’m feeling better about that. Loved the scripture Sharon shared above about hope. God bles…

    • mickholt says:

      Denise, I will certainly be praying for your strength as well. God bless you for taking care of those suffering children. Like many things regarding faith we have to make the effort to maintain it in our lives the pull to let go is very strong – cry out to God He’ll hear you. Thanks for the wishes for my wife she’s good now. Please keep in touch and let me know how the kids are doing. Thanks for stopping by, please don’t be a stranger.

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