I go through periods of doubt and fear – who doesn’t right? Some times are more sever than others.
I question every decision I make often changing my mind multiple times, second guessing one moment what I would have sworn was the truth just five minutes earlier and you know what…I think God is behind it all.
Really, you’re gonna blame God? No, not blame give credit.
We give too much weight to the negative that happens in our lives. We focus too much on “US”. when we should – in every case – be looking at God and how he’s going to use our situation for His glory.
I think of all the time I have been “slighted” by my J-O-Bs, or my friends, or a girl and yes even my family. I, like you, often think of these as plots to bring me down or to hurt me. That certainly I have done or said something that God is punishing me for or allowing to happen because was in some way “bad” but God does not do tat – he does not punish us for our wrongs – that debt has been paid in by Jesus Christ.
It could be that or it could be a case where God is orchestrating HIS plan for me to be able to do what he wants me to do, what he’s been asking me to do or telling me to do my whole life.
I get an idea into my head and run with it but at the first set back I run the other direction. Then it seems all I know is that I am not sure where that idea was going in the first place. Perhaps, all the disappointments are designed for my detriment but perhaps the little set backs, the little things that don’t go the way I envision they’re maybe God’s little “tests” to see what I am going to do or how I am going to handle it.
To see what if anything I am willing to fight for – that might be it right?
That might be the plan to see how committed I am.
Good thoughts there – right?
Maybe that’s been the thing all along, going back to HS. I have always handled adversity the same way – I run, I turn, I quit. That’s me that’s who I am that’s who I have always been. But I don’t have to be that guy, I don’t have to do that now or any ever again.
Scripture says I am a new creature in Christ. I struggle with that because I began my relationship with Jesus at such a young age. So, if that relationship began at age 9 or 10 then what I am is what I have become as a result of my time being with Jesus. So, how can I be a new creature when I grew at and I am exactly the creature that I see in the mirror?
Because HIS grace is new every day.
If he can make me new once, it stands to reason that he can make me new again and again – as many times as it takes until I stop screwing it up. Paul, the world’s greatest missionary once said “ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Roman 7:15 NIV). If Paul – of all people – had to rely on God to recreate him EVERY DAY why should I expect to be any different?
If he can forgive my sins that I have not committed yet – though he forgave – past tense – ALL my sins more than 2000 years ago but I think it is the same principle.
His grace is new every day.
That should be the take away. NO matter what I do, I am forgiven – a license to sin- no, of course not. But confidence that when I do – and I will – that I will be forgiven.
It is not a once and done thing – I am not a sculpture, I am not a painting. I am not something that God makes and leaves alone. Not something he places on the wall to look at over and over – to admire. Not a work of art. Not a masterpiece – something more, something alive, something that moves breathes and changes.
Something –no, not a masterpiece, but clay.
The bible talks about how God is the potter and he’s always molding us always shaping. Shaving away a little more putting back on in the right places. Adding water to make us more pliable.
Always on the potter’s wheel.
It is an analogy that I never thought about like this before. It is an interesting perspective. Certainly something that deserves more investigation.
He’s is still the potter and I am just the clay.