I am not 100% sure of what I want to say. Not right now. Not at this very moment but overall. I am not sure what I want this blog to be about or who I am directing it toward. What its purpose is or will become.
Random thoughts about life and theology? No, not really. Though that seems to be what I do the most. But I don’t wake up every day thinking “OK, I wanna drop some theology on people today.”
Comic thoughts, ideas and musings? Well, I do claim to be a comedian but that does not come out in my writing. So, no, I guess not. Though I would not be unhappy if that didn’t start happening – stay tuned.
All mistakes according to those in the blogging “know”.
I read several blogs a week. Many of them talk about building your platform, being genuine, showing up and doing the work. One of the things they stress is finding your voice. Voice being what you’re saying and how you say what you say. I feel like I am missing that boat – sometimes I feel like I am not even on the dock.
They talk about selling – I don’t want to sell anything. Well, I don’t believe I have a “product” for which I can sell. I guess I could make “mickholt.com” t-shirts but that’s not what they mean – I don’t think.
I mean, sure, I would love for blogging to become something that pays my bills, makes me better off than I am and allows my wife to not work but I am not sure how to do that when all I have to offer is a few words strung together and I am not sure their being read or making sense.
Why am I still struggling with the thoughts of not knowing what I want to do or how to do it? I realized today that I graduated high school 24 years ago. 24. Next year I will have come darn close to wasting a quarter century and having almost nothing to show for my life, my time, my efforts.
My what? Efforts? Is that a joke?
HAND OF GOD
Is that where my life needs to head? Is that what I have been running from? Have I been off the stage too long?
Why do I question God on this? He knew me before I was born. He formed me in my mother’s womb. He chose me and gifted me. I have always been funny – He made me this way. I have always been able to get people to laugh – He made me this way. At times, inappropriately or with inappropriate humor but none the less – laughs. I have not felt anything like the rush of people laughing and my words – when that’s what I intend.
There is no feeling like it – for me.
He made me this way.