Not sure how or when it happened but I have out grown my own skin – though not in a “I am to heavy” kind of way, though I am too heavy. Maybe that is the wrong way to phrase it, it might be better to say I have grown to comfortable in my own skin – but no, that is still not really what I am thinking. I might just be too old, though in my experience once you reach a certain age – might be different for each person – is that you just don’t care anymore what anyone thinks about anything. So, I doubt that is what I mean either.
This is not working, let me give some background.
In high school I was a social butterfly. I had friends in every clique. I had friends of every race – and we had a mix. I had friends at every economic level. I had friends that smoked and drank and I had friends that didn’t. I had friends that drove cars, played sports, acted, sang, worked, got high, wrote, drew, never missed a class, would be hard pressed to tell you what the inside of a class looked like, liked the beach, liked Metallica, liked Culture Club, danced, cheered, would go to college, would go to jail, would be a grandparent before we have our thirtieth reunion, would never have kids – yeah, I was every man.
I wore a jean jacket – that met its maker way too soon, had slightly longer hair and drove the ugliest car – ever; and went on three, count ‘em three dates all through high school – and at the time, I think that made me unique.
I think the fact that to this day I have never smoked pot – or done any other kind of drug makes me – well, does ”unique” really cover what that makes me? So, let’s not start name calling and just say unique.
I think the thing that in all those situations that kept me sane was the fact that I was me and everyone accepted me. I didn’t have to act a certain way when I was with one group and change into a different version of myself for another group. That would be exhausting!
So, back to the skin thing – I don’t feel like I am like that really anymore – though I am not unlike that. At work I get along with and can hold my own in conversations with attorneys, paralegals, judges, vendors and the dude on the corner that calls me “little ATM.” After work we have church where the demographic is not dissimilar to that of my high school. We worship near a major university that draws a lot of international students, as well as instructors, and the surrounding neighborhoods are fairly diverse so, really other than the fact that I am not scared to go into the bathroom at church – it’s just like high school.
I guess the difference for me I s that at school you were with the same group of kids every day for at least a year and if you lived in the same area for an extended period of time that one year could be three, four or, I know guys that started kindergarten and then walked across the graduation stage together – not me but I am not bitter.
What was the question again?
Oh right “fitting in,”
For me, if you’re too concerned about making yourself “fit in” to anything, a social group, a career, a pair of blue jean that have seen better days then you’re missing out on what life is about. One of the most incredible aspects of this whole journey, so please don’t stop believing.
Regardless of your belief in Creation or Evolution – I believe in Creation – we’re all different. Whether by design or chance makes no difference but we’re all here – different.
What do you think? Should be all be the same? Same jobs same money same sized family same skills and abilities? Love to know what you think of all this. Leave me a comment and let’s talk it out.