I Am Man. I Am a Child.

thinking monkey

Photo By: irishwildcat – Creative Commons

I am empty, void of emotion, tired, jealous, angry.

I am man. I am a child. I am lost. I am nothing in my eyes. What could I possibly be to you?

I am filled with doubt, driven by unbelief, consumed with confusion and held down by pain of my own making. A choice.

I am beaten by my thoughts, blinded by hate and fooled by my heart.  A shadow screams at a whimper of angst.  Childish dreams wrenched from the hand of man twice dead.

My eyes lie, my head mocks my faith. I hear the cries once more.  I feel the shame of a thousand failed dreams the loneliness of a friend lost to deceit.

My existence is a trick of light, an illusion. Don’t blink. My life is a joke, a  vapor. Mist. A brief wind blowing in the morning coming from now where and returning to the same.

How can I call myself a man?

I long for love, I wait in vain. I search for the crack in the sky to deliver the promise of the ages. I watch the clouds hoping for a glimpse of my youth.  A window to a time I’ll never see again.

I am empty, void of emotion, tired, jealous, angry.

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