Why Do I Question My Value?

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized
In many ways I am the prototypical male. I like, most, sports – even if I do not follow as closely as I used to. I like action movies and seeing things explode. I like car chases and watching cars or motorcycles jump the seemingly impossible. I think the Three Stooges – with Curly – were geniuses. I laugh uncontrollably while watching “Wipe Out” or “America’s Funniest Home Videos” when people fall, get hit with sticks, fly into a wall or any number of other activities where it looks like people are getting hurt – I really do not think you can stage some of those spills.

I like Captain America, Spider-Man, Batman, and Thor and, deep down, I still want to be a superhero. I admire the Marines and other members of the armed forces as well as anyone that fights fires or vows to protect the streets we walk – these men and women went out and became “superheroes” – so I thank you.

I know a lot of people but very few of them “know” me. I have many acquaintances but very few close friends and almost no one that I feel I can call at three in the morning if I am trying to work through something. I do not feel I am “open” with other men – or anyone else for that matter – I engage in an “information exchange.”

I am not special in these regards, most men fit into this mold.

The thing I struggling with the most is my self image. Or, better, my value.

Like most men, I place a premium on the perception I think others have about me based on my job, income and social status.

Recently I was just this side, I think, of an emotional breakdown because I could not wrap my head around where I am, what I am doing or who I have become.

I was paralyzed with fear. I would sit and do nothing. I did not even want to make plans to do anything because I am convinced they, like everything else I try, will fail. Thank God, for my wife and son, without whom I would have sat in a corner to hide and may not have moved.

God knew I needed other people to be responsible for otherwise, I might still be in that corner.

During a short time of prayer, God reminded me that my worth, my value, my Identity does not come from any external source but from Jesus. All those things that I – we – feel, that we fight with are placed inside us not by our Creator but by our common enemy. As often as we’ll listen, Satan is going to plant the seeds of doubt in the hope that we do not give ourselves fully to God’s grace and mercy.
Our identity as individuals, our worth , our true value comes from the fact that Jesus died in our place and was raised. Our value is not based on what we do, what we’ve done, who we know, how much money we make. It is not based on how fast or far we walk run or jump. It has nothing to do with the number of books we read or write.
It has everything to do with the fact that God made and loves you more than you’ll ever know or deserve. He loves you so much that he came and was beaten for you. Humiliated so you would not be. He died in your place, he went to Hell for you.
That’s way you are worth something. That is your identity. That IS your value.
He’s the man I most want to be like.
Where does your value come from? Leave a comment below and let me know.
Comments
  1. […] Like you, I saw things and made choices that have moved me through life to the point where I question everything, including my value as a person. […]

  2. […] us. If you don’t see the value in that you might need to have your eyes or your heart checked. I struggle with my value from time to time.  In truth, he died for everyone, including those that do not believe that – and he does not […]

  3. Larry Poole says:

    Mick, great post.

    I just had a friend lose a house. He and his wife are struggling financially. I had to remind him that his worth is not tied to his income, his social status, or even a house he couldn’t keep.

    Our worth is tied to our redemption in Christ.

    It’s easy, especially as guys, to forget that.

    Keep up the great work.

    • mickholt says:

      Larry, Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
      You’re right, we’re told by society that everything, except Jesus, is what makes us who we are and that is one of the most destructive lies we’re told. Could not have said it better “Our worth is tied to our redemption in Christ.”

      Thanks again. Don’t be a stranger.

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